Smashwords

I turned around and glanced over my shoulders, even though it was just me and Tommy in here. I didn’t want to think about the serious consequences I could face as a scoutmaster-in-training for both being involved with another scout, and committing incest. Society would especially scrutinize me for it because I should know better.

But I did know better.

It was my heart that didn’t.

“We have to be very careful, Tommy, okay?” I caressed his soft cheek, my green-blue gaze boring into his bluer one.

His ruddy cheeks flushed. He looked so adorable in his scout uniform that was just like mine before I’d started training. “Sorry, Perry, I forgot.”

My heart lifted again at just the sight of his innocently boyish face. Big, blue eyes, a mop of white-blond hair, and much more freckled than me. Otherwise, we were the same age and around the same height and weight: the lanky-dork build, basically. Yep, he got the same treatment as I did for being an unpopular virgin.

I hunched over for a little peck on his lips, the only way we kissed for now. Truthfully, I wanted a deeper smooch, but I wasn’t sure how he felt about it. “You still want to be with me like you said?”

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I took off my T-shirt and tossed it on the floor. I grabbed the pillow and laid it on the center of the small bed. I pushed my shorts down to my knees, and I climbed on top of the pillow and started humping it. I didn’t care if the pillowcase was crusty from the previous time today. It was why I always brought my own so that Mom wouldn’t question anything when doing laundry.

Robby came to mind again, as he often did whenever I bated. It was part of my recent self-discovery: I was officially a gay freak. It had started with me reading free boy/boy stories online, albeit poorly written by anonymous amateurs who were questionably too young to write that stuff. Along came brocest stories that turned me on even more. Finally, loads of gay porn vids featuring jocks of all sizes. I had never been interested in anyone older than twenty-five, much less felt attraction.

When I used to shower in the boys’ locker room back in high school, it was extra torturous because it got me horny every time. I didn’t have a big dick, about average, so it made me feel too shy to expose myself in front of others.

But was I cute enough for other guys? I had short, brown hair and blue eyes, and I was told I had a nice smile. Even a few girls had already expressed interest in me, not that I would ever want them.

Still humping, Robby wouldn’t leave my mind now, making me hornier and leakier, enough to desire the incestuous company I wished existed between us. What was it like to have a bate buddy? Was it more fun than doing it alone? Of course, I’d never lay a finger on Robby without his permission, but if he ever wanted to mess around, I’d be all for it.

A naked Robby appeared in my head: cute and sweet. He frolicked around while I admired the beauty he probably didn’t know he had. What was it like to touch him? What was it like to gaze into his eyes and play with his hair with so much fondness? What was it like to lean closer and give him a deep kiss? I’d keep him safe in my arms, away from the danger he could get himself into if he wasn’t careful. His warm body bundled up against me without any clothes in the way was what I really ached for.

My own brother…

My flesh and blood…

Whose DNA I shared…

Forbidden…

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“I’m ready, Alvyn,” Hans said in a slight German accent.

I pushed Hans on his wheelchair into the spacious bathroom. He was able to walk a bit since he’d been slowly improving after the accident, but it still hurt him. So, we saved the bit of walking he did do for minor stuff that required short steps, like bath time. I pulled off his yellow T-shirt that smelled like body odor. As usual, I struggled but managed to take off his gray jogging pants and blue boxers. The white gym socks were easy, albeit just as smelly.

I made a scrunchy face, especially because of the funk that mostly came from his big penis. I only knew what it was called because he’d secretly told me earlier this summer, since Mama wanted to keep sheltering me like a little kid even at eighteen. She made sure I wouldn’t learn any adult stuff online. Many kids my age had already known about stuff from the internet, making me feel completely left out. Mama had even opted me out of health class. So, I had to learn things on my own in the most limited way. I didn’t know a whole lot, but that was partly why I liked Hans so much. He was able to teach me stuff to prepare for whatever adulthood had in store for me, especially since college was practically around the corner.

He sighed. “Sorry, Alvyn, Mama forgot to bathe me yesterday.”

I frowned. “Why?” Ugh, my voice was a little squeaky at times, and just weird. Hans told me it meant I was going through a delayed puberty, much later than most boys because of my slower development. It was yet another thing Mama never talked to me about.

“Because she’s too busy living her own life, always spending my money at the mall with her friends, clubbing and partying, things like that.”

“Oh.” I knew Hans had a lot of money saved up from an inheritance on Papa’s side of the family, but I didn’t know Mama always spent it since she worked as a secretary for some office in the big city. No wonder she liked to shop a lot. Our big farmhouse out in the country had modern stuff inside, way nicer than the tiny mobile home we used to live in. Well, Papa still lived there as a recluse, probably still smoking and drinking beer with the teen girl he’d cheated on Mama with. That girl always called him Daddy. Why?

After filling up the bathtub, I helped Hans off the wheelchair. I wished I had a body like his. He used to go to the gym before the accident, but he still did minimal exercises whenever he could. He was smooth everywhere too. Well, he had a thick, brown bush, unlike my blond fuzz that barely grew down there.

It was a struggle to get Hans inside the tub, especially because his hands were bandage-wrapped and sore, but I did it. Then, I grabbed the small bucket and poured water over his body while he relaxed.

“Thanks for doing this, Alvyn, even though you don’t have to.”

“But I want to, Hans. You’re my big brother, and I care about you. And it’s not like I haven’t done it before. Besides, you’re kind of stinky, so you need a bath.”

We laughed.

He sighed. “You’re always so good to me.”

My heart tickled and felt melty. I gave him a wide smile.

“Make sure you use the rag when you clean my butt, okay? Not the sponge.”

I nodded. “I know.” After all, he couldn’t do certain things well on his own. “So, why doesn’t Mama remember to bathe you every day?”

Hans sighed. “I annoy her with my presence. She just, you know, finds me to be a pest in the way of her ‘fun life’ as she puts it. She works hard and wants to unwind, I guess.”

“Oh.” I grabbed the bottle of bodywash and the mesh sponge. “Can I take care of you full-time from now on?”

Hans gave me a happy smile. “As much as I’d love that, you’re starting school again soon. You’ll be real busy.”

“So? I can make time for you too. I’m homeschooled, remember? And homework is usually easy, anyway. I always get it done fast.”

“I know. That’s because you’re smart.”

My heart tickled again, and I made another wide smile. I washed every part of Hans’ body with the sponge, using the rag for his butt and then washing that too (for obvious reasons). But this time, I decided to wash his penis more than before since he’d told me the other times I didn’t have to do it too much. Maybe that was why it smelled bad? Maybe it needed better washing?

I wrapped my small hand around Hans’ penis and lathered it up with soap, the water gently splashing against my fist. Would mine keep growing now that I wasn’t a kid anymore? It was bigger than it used to be, but it still wasn’t big like his.

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The moonlight shone through the only window in my room, but it wasn’t enough to make out a face or body, more like a silhouette. The only sound in this big house was my portable heater nearby, my protection against the subzero temperature outside as the snow continued to pile.

Naked with just black gym socks on, I relaxed on my small bed and waited for V, my mysterious Valentine hookup to coincide with the famous love day of the calendar year. It was the perfect day to lose our virginities on, even if there wouldn’t be any romance involved like I would have preferred. But if that was the case, why had V insisted on me decorating the dining table with Valentine’s Day stuff? Wasn’t a hookup supposed to be just that…a hookup?

Thankfully, V and I had no problem with refusing to show our faces or give each other our real names. I went by A for Adam, and I assumed V was his initial. We’d met on Hawt Brothr, a social app for men and women with a brother fetish. We’d chatted for two weeks before finally agreeing to hook up, and only he got to see a pic of my chest, while I hadn’t gotten to see any pic of him.

We were both deep inside the closet, so we had to be careful. I knew for a fact that my parents—especially Dad—would kick me out of the house. I mean, it’d be legal for them to do it since it was technically their house, and therefore, their rules, and I was now eighteen. We lived in a small conservative town in northern America, so, yeah. It just wasn’t worth taking that risk. Given that V was around my age, it was probably the same for him.

It was why I had waited until Mom and Dad left for the weekend, something they often did because of their love for traveling. They had a comfy RV, so why not? My twin brother, Aaron, had gone with them as the perfect distraction to what would’ve been a day to celebrate with his ex-girlfriend, and Mom and Dad had promised not to make the holiday a big deal for his sake. I just hoped his heart would heal soon; his ex had recently broken up with him for a “better” guy.

Pfft, better. Yeah, whatever. Aaron was amazing, and his ex was too blind to see it. I mean, I would know. We hadn’t just grown up together; we were very close as identical twins. Not only did we share the same birthday, but we had plenty of similar interests because we could relate more. As a result, we were inseparable and told each other almost everything. The exception to the latter? My sexuality, and it was only because I feared losing him forever.

What I’d give just to have Aaron all to myself, though. Who cared if I was considered a sick person by our society for being in love and in lust with my own brother? So was V! No wonder we had connected so well—a bit too naturally, in fact.

So, what did V look like? There was a strong chance I’d never see his face even after we had sex tonight. I was tall, athletic, and smooth with a nice bubble butt, and I had reddish-brown hair and greenish-brown eyes. Aaron obviously looked just like me, so aside from our different personalities, we had the same luck just by our looks alone. The only reason I hadn’t gotten laid yet like he had was because being gay around here was hard enough.

Meeting V, who happened to live nearby, was practically a jackpot. But was V attractive enough to mess around with? Not that I would even see his face, but his body at least? He had promised I’d like the way he looked, so I was hopeful. I knew I couldn’t be too picky, given my inconvenient location, but come on now. I do have limits.

The sound of the front door opening sped up my heartbeat with a nervous kind of excitement. V was here, and it now sounded like he was taking off his coat and snow boots. He would enter my room in just seconds. I had left the door open so that I could wait for him in bed and have him take advantage of me. Besides, with it being safe out here in the country, no one locked their front doors.

I couldn’t believe I was doing this. I had tried meeting two other hookups recently but chickened out. Tonight, I promised not to do that. Third time’s a charm, right? Maybe?

Now, I was fully hard, leaking more than I’d realized for being nervous. The mystery was kind of a turn on, but I did pray that V had a decent body at the very least. Even if he turned out to be unattractive in the face, my moonlit room would practically be a bag-over-the-head convenience to make sex more tolerable. Then again, what was sex even like?

My door opened all the way since it hadn’t been completely shut. And there he was, V’s silhouette that confirmed he had a hot body like mine—kind of similar, actually. I furrowed my eyebrows. Wait a minute! I’d forgotten to tell him where my room was! How had he found it with no problem?

“You’re a naughty little thing,” a familiar deep voice said, startling me.

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Up on the wide balcony, Kev and I were on the cushioned lounge chair, naked except for our white gym socks on and our boxers on the wooden floor. The summer night breeze cooled our damp skin, feeling more comfortable for me than what we were doing right now. It was special, though, and I promised myself I’d take it like a champ just to have this meaningful milestone.

I grunted from the pain, feeling full inside. Finally, Kev was all the way in as soon as my small bubble butt rested against his beefy lap. The few hairs on his inner thighs tickled my smooth cheeks. His hot, scruffy face looked bluish from the moonlight shining above. All I needed for reassurance was to keep gazing into his soft, brown eyes that locked with my similar brown ones, like being lent a big hand to climb up a mountain.

I was spoiled with so much brotherly affection, but it was more than just that. We loved each other like brothers weren’t supposed to, a forbidden love. But our hearts and bodies were too blind to see it any other way. Why did it have to be considered so taboo? Kev was nineteen in college, and I was eighteen in high school. We were consenting adults who knew exactly what we wanted. So, really, why was it wrong when it felt right to us?

Thus, here we were in secret, playing with fire because our nosy neighbors could easily peek through their windows, even though no one was usually up this late at night. Our two little sisters were deep asleep in our shared bedroom right next to us, a bunk bed for them and a bunk bed for us bros. We lived in a crowded three-bedroom house in the suburbs, with our grandparents taking the third room.

“You okay, Mikey?” Kev whispered, playing with my finger-length hair that was as brown as his army cut. As my big brother, he was always considerate of my feelings because of his protective nature he’d inherited from Dad, in contrast to my occasional meekness from Mom. We were a traditional family, even though the two sons of the bunch were doing untraditional things.

I gave Kev a quick nod and a tight smile. “Does it always hurt like this?”

“I don’t know. I’ve, you know, never bottomed before, obviously.” His cheeks flushed a bit from even mentioning that concept.

“Not like I have either until now.”

He frowned. “You’re not enjoying this, huh?”

“I want to, Kev, I do! I swear I’m trying to because I don’t want you out of me just yet. I know I can take it.” Could I? Of course! We were making love, and this was a huge part of it that would happen from now on.

A warm smile of emotions spanned Kev’s full lips. “I can’t believe it. You’re actually giving me your virginity, Mikey. Means more to me than you know.”

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In the dimly-lit living room, I sat on the bear rug with my legs crossed in anticipation, just a few feet away from the large Christmas tree. The heater had turned off for the cycle, and the embers in the rustic fireplace barely glowed. The only sound in the house was Dad’s snoring, drowning out any of Jake’s snores. At least the stench of cheap cigarettes had finally faded away, which did nothing but yellow the chipped walls.

I wore an old set of Christmassy PJs that still fit me because I was a twink who could fit into practically any small size. To be fair, it had originally belonged to a cousin of mine who had grown into a twunk.

Even though Mom was no longer around to tell me to be a good boy, I already knew to carefully leave a plate of chocolate chip cookies and a glass of milk on the wobbly coffee table, just like every year. Please, as if I didn’t know what the surprise was. I’d just kept it to myself because it was part of the fun. Life was hard, and so was family life. Let me have something magical to hold onto, at least.

Now that it was past midnight, I was officially eighteen. So, this year, I wanted to have some fun and mix things up. I’d jerked off and shot a big load inside the glass of milk as a devious little prank. I couldn’t wait for Santa to drink it all up so that I could see his reaction.

After more minutes of waiting, Santa finally came from right behind me in quiet steps. I never turned around because I wanted to wait until he circled around to face me for a proper surprise. He always stood right by the Christmas tree.

Like every year, I forced myself to believe Santa really was here again, albeit slimmer and younger than the old and jolly version, but still much bigger than me. He towered over me in his famous red suit and hat that made me melt in ways I couldn’t begin to explain. “Ho, ho, ho!” he cheered in a low tone, his voice so deep in a contrived way.

He knew just how much this meant to me. He knew I didn’t want to grow up, but since I had to at my age, I might as well cling onto this part of my childhood. That was the whole point of this yearly experience. Some things, I just didn’t want to let go of, even though I was expected to.

Santa ate the cookies, looking pleased. Then, he gulped down the milk, but he made an awkward and pensive face. He sighed, shaking his head. “I think I know why this milk tastes a bit funny.” He didn’t sound mad, though.

I pursed my lips, trying my hardest to suppress a giggle. I was so naughty this year!

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