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“Thanks for letting me live with you,” Ark said. Whenever he looked at me, it was in the same way one would when having a crush on someone. His greenish-blue eyes sparkled with the kind of emotion that told me I affected him in the greatest way. Topped with his red hair and lightly-freckled face, he really looked so much like me, a jock version than my skinny self.

But it was the Devil making him feel enamored with lust for his own brother. Satan continued to instill sinful thoughts about me in his mind, and I was here to repel the Devil out of him. Granted, this particular repellent wouldn’t be approved by most Christians, but I believed God would understand my special purpose since He knew the future before it even happened. If doing this ended up curing him, then how could that be wrong? God would’ve already known that.

I managed a little smile, ignoring my twitching boner. “You’re welcome. Just remember, though. It’s a studio apartment. What that means is there’s no bedroom. Well, not a divided one, anyway. Everything besides the bathroom is in one space.”

Ark formed a pensive expression, clearly not getting it.

“It’s okay. Don’t worry about it. You’ll see when you enter the apartment.”

“Okay.” He continued looking out the window.

I’d never hurt my big brother. This plan wasn’t pain or betrayal or anything bad like that. It was an eye-opener to get him to realize where his life had been headed. But since I wasn’t sure if it was a permanent fix, I decided to have him live with me forever. I was his savior. He needed me.

And I needed him.

“Noah, you’re suffering,” Ark said as he shifted his gaze to the front of my beige shorts. He frowned.

I lowered my eyebrows and attempted a sheepish chuckle. I’d just realize the huge wet spot from so much precum. Truthfully, Satan had gotten to me so hard that I was ready to burst. The unusual horniness was too much to bear because I’d never been in a situation like this before. While I hadn’t been turned on by Dad during our private moment together, I’d been turned on by Ark and hadn’t been able to get off yet.

Ark pulled something out of his pocket and showed it to me. It was a tiny bottle of lube. Why did he have that? What was he going to do with it? “I always take this with me in case of any emergencies, and it looks like you need to take care of that problem right now.”

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I furrowed my eyebrows because I had no idea what Dad specifically meant. “What kinds of urges?”

“Well? Your mother hasn’t put out a single time since you were born.”

Goodness. Eighteen years without sex?

“She just completely lost interest and refused whenever I tried so much as to touch her. Turns out she never enjoyed being with me in that way, and she cried every time it happened. Just because I’m in charge doesn’t mean I’ll force myself on her, so I had no choice but to become celibate.”

Oh, Dad…

“And she hates it when I masturbate because she feels like it’s considered cheating on her, even though it’s obviously not. I’m so frustrated that I can’t think a lot of the times. But I have to respect her wishes and live the rest of my life without…you know…sex.” Dad had said that last word in a lower tone, his cheeks reddening. Maybe it wasn’t so much the word but the private thing he’d just admitted.

I frowned, still not knowing exactly what to say because this situation was so foreign to me. Would it apply to me too? I wasn’t gay at all because I refused to believe it, and my punishment for Ark didn’t mean anything but saving him from more sin. Also, Dad’s hand was still on my shoulder.

He sighed. “I pray about it every single day and night. You say God talks to you, right?”

I nodded, my sympathy for Dad growing enough to make my heart hurt a little. Why did all of us have to suffer? It was the mysteries of the unknown that only God could ever answer. “I can help you, Dad. Tell me anything you need from me, and I will alleviate all your frustrations by supporting you in any way I can. Just name it.”

He sighed, and for the first time in front of me, his eyes watered.

“Let it out, Dad. Stop listening to this toxic belief that men can’t cry and just cry in front of me. Your secrets are always safe with me, I promise. God’s telling me it’s okay, so do it. Cry.”

Within seconds, Dad shocked me by bursting into silent tears and wrapping his arms around me for a tight squeeze. We had so much privacy right now. No one could hear him because he fought any sound from coming out as the tears wet my shirt. No one could even see us because our privacy fence was high, our neighbors were very far apart, and open fields and woods surrounded us.

He looked at me but didn’t let go, sniffling while his face was drenched with tears. “Pray for me, Noah. I masturbate on occasion, but only in secret. She’s always by my side when I’m not at work, so I don’t have much privacy, not even in the bathroom. She’s a light sleeper, so I can’t even do it while she’s in bed unless I give her a sleeping pill or something. My job keeps me busy to where even using bathroom has to be quick. It’s why I can go up to a few weeks without doing it.”

I’d never known that, but then again, why would I? It now made sense why Dad had been so cold and distant, especially moody. I was just as moody and frustrated but for a different reason.

“I’m going insane, son. Help me, please.” That pained look on his face.

I wasn’t sure if Satan was trying to seduce me again, but I found myself desperate to alleviate Dad’s pain in the most forbidden way. I sighed. “How can I help? Just say it. You will never weird me out with whatever it is, and whatever you share with me stays with me. I already made that promise to God as part of my ministry work, and I won’t break that oath.”

Dad swallowed, sniffling again. “Can I alleviate myself here?” He’d just never looked this distraught, ever. He was like a different person the longer we connected. He gave me hope that I could change his mind someday about disowning a gay son. I’d happily cure Ark of his homosexuality, but I’d eventually find a way to sway Dad never to disown him over it.

Desperate to cure Dad, I gave him a nod. “I already told you that whatever you need, just ask. I’ll do it. Anything.” Anything? Then again, Ark wasn’t the only one in need of my specialized help.

“You don’t think it’s wrong or weird?”

I shook my head, even though I wasn’t entirely sure. I chose to believe that ministry work required all forms of help, not just the traditional ones. If saving my father like this led him to become a better and happier man of God, then why not? “Do it, Dad. No judgments. Just do it.” I couldn’t believe my growing boldness over letting my ministry work get to my head.

He let go of me and paused, looking away with shame. Then, he gazed back into my eyes and unzipped his khaki shorts, pulling out his cock that I didn’t dare to look at, not that I was interested because I didn’t experience those kinds of feelings for him. That only proved to me that Satan seduced me with Ark because the situation was different. Dad simply needed to release like any man did. There was nothing gay about this.

He took a few steps, took his T-shirt off to reveal his smooth, slightly-flabby body that was still good for his age, like a dadbod-to-be but not quite. I only hoped he wouldn’t burn like a lobster like I typically did under this hot sun. He covered his cock by wrapping his shirt around it, and he quickly stroked while his gaze continued holding mine as if no longer ashamed to give me eye contact. “I have thoughts, Noah.” Probably of all sorts of naked women.

“No judgments, Dad.” Why would I, given my new experience with Ark?

“But…they’re thoughts I shouldn’t have.”

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“We all sin, though. Sin is sin in God’s eyes.”

“I disagree. But I get it. Ark’s your brother, so it makes sense you don’t want to accept this. Anyway, I have to go. See you in church. God bless you.”

“God bless you too.” I ended the call and stared at the text that contained nothing but the suddenly-infamous link. Our cozy little town in northern Wisconsin had no room for gays, so why would our family? Dad would disown Ark if all of this were true. He’d said so multiple times about hypothetically having a gay son, while he’d use corrective rape for a pretty and feminine lesbian daughter. I didn’t agree with the latter because it was disgusting and just wrong. Gay was gay regardless of gender, and they all had a chance to be righteous with God if they repented. I just prayed it was all a big misunderstanding and that Ark really wasn’t gay.

After staring at the link for a moment longer, I bit the bullet and tapped on the link to open the browser. Ginger The Jelloboy? But was that Ark’s face pic used on the profile? Red hair, greenish-blue eyes, lightly-freckled face…oh, goodness, it really was him, and with a horny expression I’d never seen. The fact that we strongly resembled each other was even more humiliating because I could almost see myself in his face, just that he was a jock like Dad used to be—Dad was still in good shape for his age, though. Meanwhile, my skinny body couldn’t fatten up no matter how much I ate, just like Mom. I was a lot taller than Ark too, about Dad’s height, so our faces were all we had in common.

And that bio? Why would Ark call himself a “buttslut jock with a used hole?” That was disgusting. This wasn’t right. Maybe it was a prank. Maybe someone had created this profile and used his pic.

I reluctantly clicked on the videos tab, and my eyes grew wide at a slew of video thumbnails popping up. What the… I rushed to grab my earbuds and plugged them into my phone. This needed a proper investigation. It was too important to ignore. I swallowed, not wanting to accept any of this. Maybe it really was a prank. Yeah, yeah. It had to be. Ark wasn’t the type to do this. I knew him my whole life!

I clicked on the latest free teaser and started the video clip. Loud pop music with horny female moans and sexually-vulgar lyrics played, startling me enough to quickly lower the volume. Ark’s big and smooth butt bounced like jello on a huge, Black cock, moaning in a tone I’d never heard before while saying, “Fuck me like a dirty slut.” What…? Then, a big, white cock pounded his butt in hard thwacks, making it jiggle some more, along with cock after cock after cock. Even a double penetration scene involving two Black guys! Finally, his face was jizzed on by a bunch of jocks in a chorus of loud groans, his tongue wiggling around as if hungry for it. The video ended with a caption that said to subscribe to his videos “for more sinfully sweet fun.” And it had all taken place in his room.

On the other side of my left wall.

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